Author lifestyle

How to live the glamorous life of an author (or not)

Mar 14, 2023

Every now and then, the YouTube algorithm throws me something about fashion or lifestyle. I think it’s because I watch a lot of yarn, science, and climate change videos, so when I watch something about fast fashion vs. the planet, the algorithm gets confused and offers one about capsule wardrobes.

And even though I’m not actually interested in these lifestyles for myself, sometimes I check out the videos. One I looked at today was about quitting the aforementioned capsule wardrobe. Last week, I saw one about letting go of minimalism. And these aren’t the only ones! There are so many variations on these types of videos, of (often) young YouTubers trying on different trendy lifestyles and deciding that they want something else. And I want to say upfront that this is totally fine — normal, even!

What interests me about them isn’t the discussion of the lifestyle itself — although it can sometimes feel like peering into another, fascinating world — but the explanation of why the person left the thing that was once so important to them. Something that appeared to bring them community, and a sense of identity so strong they had an entire channel dedicated to it.

After all, they’d spent years cultivating those pure white backgrounds, clean lines, and a single rack of clothing. They’d purchased the items that would make the lifestyle work just right, such as matching food containers and the perfect t-shirt that went with everything. And they’d donated or trashed all the “clutter” in their homes.

But what I see from these quitting videos is that after some time has passed, there seems to be a struggle to maintain all that — and to find room for their own self expression and array of interests. They leave because they were sold an ideal, a version of life that didn’t fit with their actual needs and wants and habits.

Because it turns out that what works for some people doesn’t work for all people . . . even if we sometimes look at those room setups or outfits and think, That could be me. And also, That could solve all my problems.

I think we do this in writing, too.

When I was a new writer, I wrote what I wanted — what made me happy. But later, when I was hoping to find an agent and publisher, I started shifting the types of stories I wrote. It was partially to scratch a story itch in a subgenre I didn’t usually venture into, but also . . . I’d convinced myself that if I wrote this type of story, it would get me published.

It would solve all my problems.

Spoiler: it didn’t.

Like these YouTubers realizing that they want colorful walls in their apartments, or the boring skincare works better for them than the high-end1, I began to get a clearer picture of the kind of stories I wanted to tell — the kind of stories that reflected my individual creativity.

It wasn’t until I stopped writing what I thought I should — and started writing for myself again — that I got agent offers and publishing contracts.

I’m not saying that I totally ignore trends now, or that the market never influences what I write. I want to sell books as much as the next author. (My cats are used to a certain lifestyle and that lifestyle is prescription wet food.) But instead of intentionally writing something to fit a trend, I decide whether or not a specific trend fits with what I write. If it doesn’t, I don’t force it.

To be clear: I’m glad I went through that phase. It taught me a lot about different subgenres. It forced me to stretch out of my comfort zone. And it truly clarified what kind of storyteller I am.

I’m also glad that none of those stories got published. They weren’t the best representation of me as an author — and I would have been deeply unhappy to have to continue writing them if a publisher only wanted more of the same.

On a related note, I think it’s important to understand that there isn’t one specific author lifestyle. It’s easy to assume there is, based on movies and TV, and even some social media feeds. But the truth is, there’s no single author aesthetic, no lifestyle that is correct. First of all, many social media feeds are highly curated, including mine! We’ve all heard the phrase that social media is a highlight reel, right? Keep that in mind when you find yourself playing the comparison game!

Remember, there are as many ways to be an author as there are authors. I have friends with detailed lists and maps for every story they write; their walls look like murder boards. Some authors appear to have glamorous lives, filled with high-end fashion and exclusive invitations, while some of us are barely changing out of our nighttime pajamas into our daytime pajamas. Also, most of the coffee-shop writers I know just need a place with no kids, or a way to tell their brains, “Okay we’re going to work now.”

Your author lifestyle should fit you — your needs and schedules and creative patterns. Don’t force anything that doesn’t fit right, because you’re not supposed to fit into it. It’s supposed to fit you. (To go back to the clothes metaphor.)

If you’re writing, you’re a writer. You don’t need anything else. There’s no fancy software to purchase, no proper way to set up your desk, no rules you must follow in order to be counted. If you want to try on the different writer hats, go for it! You might find something that works for you — or something that doesn’t work for you, which is just as valuable to know.

You already count. <3

In the comments, let me know what you’ve tried and found useful! Or if you tried something and realized it wasn’t right for you at all.

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