Seven tips to survive social media

Needs more cat pictures

Quick note: currently, two of my books are on sale in ebook! NIGHTRENDER is only $0.99 and MY LADY JANE (read it before you see it) is $2.99; it’s on sale in audiobook, too, for only $4.99! Make sure you check these out.

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As authors,¹ we’re expected to do a significant chunk of our own marketing on social media. You already know this.

What began as a quick way for authors to update interested readers with book sales, cover reveals, and in-person events became an actual part of the author’s job — made more difficult as chronological timelines disappeared and algorithm-curated home feeds took over. “Author will promote on their social media channels” started showing up as a bullet point on publishers’ marketing/publicity plans. And while follower numbers don’t actually determine whether a (fiction) book will get picked up, audience size can play a role in advance size and support, as well as an author’s willingness to promote their own work.

Friends, it stinks.

Okay? Let’s just get that over with. It stinks. It doesn’t actually move the needle for most of us and it’s a whole lot of unpaid work that feels necessary but — since, again, it doesn’t make a meaningful difference in sales numbers — isn’t. Even if you have something go viral, the sales bump is unlikely to make a difference that is worth the time and effort on your part.² Particularly since one viral moment makes you think it could happen again, and then you’re more likely to put even more time and effort into it. . . .

(This is, I must acknowledge, a slightly different stance than I held before. I reserve the right to be flexible and adjust my opinions as time goes by and new information comes in. You can see how I’ve shifted my own relationship with social media here.)

And honestly, if you don’t want to do social media . . . park your username³ and enjoy your life. Seriously. I think a lot of authors would like to quit social media — or at least quit using it in a professional capacity. Most authors I speak with want to use it to interact with friends, post silly photos of their dog, and — occasionally — update book news, the same way we were doing 10+ years ago.

But if you’ve decided to give it a try, I have a few tips that might help.

1. Understand that your posts probably aren’t going to make people buy your book

For one thing, you’re the author. Of course you think it’s a great book. Obviously you think more people should read it. And you have a financial incentive for it to do well.

Your recommendation is not exactly unbiased!

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ever post about it, though. Go ahead. But manage your expectations, even if your post goes viral. Think about it, instead, like an ad. You’re just putting the book in front of people. If you have a great, memorable cover, even better. It’s (probably) not your post alone that’s going to make people buy it, though.

Obviously, there are exceptions. Some authors already have giant online audiences. Naturally, some of those folks (but not as many as you think) will buy the book to support someone they already like. And then there are the authors who’ve posted something so clever, so funny, so viral that it does result in a bunch of sales. But (deep breath, I’m so sorry, I hate saying this to you) most of us aren’t exceptions. Don’t expect to be one. And if you turn out to be one, I’m so happy for you. This is not a trick you should expect to repeat.

2. Not everything is content

I’m working on a longer letter about this, but I wanted to make sure I included the basic idea here, too: not everything is content. You don’t have to share every detail of your life. In fact, I’d beg you to keep your private life private. You can always decide to share more later, but you can’t unshare something.

Early on, I decided on a few different topics I wanted to talk about online: writing (obviously), publishing (when I knew enough), my pets, and my yarn hobby. I’ve added and subtracted as needed (remember when I was writing THE ORPHAN QUEEN and I was into calligraphy?), but overall, I keep to those general topics. There have been times when I’ve veered out of those groups and sometimes I regret it, but the only thing I can do about it now is to think twice in the future.

Remember, when you’re running an author account, you’re representing yourself as a business. As a professional. Is it fair that everything you say or do online will reflect on your work? No, probably not. Most authors are just people who believe daytime pajamas are legitimate fashion. But that is the reality.

Related to that: entire segments of your professional life can be private, too. One of the most valuable things an author can learn is to the difference between what should be a group text with your author friends or a public post for everyone to see. Upset because your publisher didn’t take your design for the book cover? Group text. Edits are three weeks late and you’re mad? Group text. Book is going to release late because of things outside of your control? Group text for the capslock complaining and public post for a measured announcement.

(I made up all of those examples. I’m not sub-newslettering anyone!)

3. Block and mute

Personally, I view these two options in different ways. I mute for topics I don’t want to see, corporate accounts I don’t want in my timeline — that sort of thing. I don’t want the algorithm to think they’re bad people (or, companies or whatever); I just don’t want them showing up for me. Blocking is for jackholes and I do hope the algorithm de-prioritizes their content.

You may view the options differently, and that’s okay. (But recently someone asked me why I mostly mute, rather than block, so I thought I’d mention it.) The real point I’m making here is: curate your space. You may not be in charge of what comes across your algorithm-driven feed, but you can make adjustments that help make that feed into something you like looking at. (And cleans up comments/replies, if jerkfaces tend to find you.)

4. You don’t have to respond to everything

You don’t need to respond to every “congratulations!” comment when you have a sale announcement, unless you actually want to and it’s physically possible. You don’t have to reply to every “what song is this?” comment, especially if the song is already correctly attributed. And you certainly don’t have to reply to antagonizing comments. (On some platforms, you can hide comments from everyone, as well as mute/block. If, you know, you didn’t want to give them oxygen.)

I understand the urge to do it, though. For a long, long time, I tried to respond to every comment on all the platforms I was on. I wanted to be grateful and kind. I wanted them to notice I noticed and that I appreciated them. But at some point, it does become unsustainable.

5. Choose one or two platforms and don’t worry about the rest

I know, I know, especially with the site formerly known as Twitter sinking into a hot lake of lava poo, so many people are looking for the next Place Everyone Posts. There’s a ton of discussion about where that will be — Threads? BlueSky? Mastodon? Will Tumblr make a comeback?

Nobody knows.

Everyone has a guess — some with more grounding than others — but it’s really hard to know right now, so choose something you enjoy using and focus on that. You do not have to be on every platform out there.

If you think you might want to try others, grab your username and camp it until you’re ready to use it. That’s totally fine. (Don’t forget to save your password.) But you’re not obligated to be on every thing.

6. Set time limits and turn off notifications

I’m not your boss, but . . . We all know how addictive social media can be. It’s meant to be. It’s meant to keep you on the site for way, way longer than you intended, because it’s got ads to show you and data to track! Everything about social media is designed to keep you scrolling.

Don’t let it. Your time is precious. I heard you’re writing a book, in fact, and I’d like the chance to read it one day.

So use whatever feature on your phone lets you set a time limit on certain apps. (On iPhone, it’s under Screen Time.) Use some kind of blocker on your computer, too. And — this part’s important — when the timer goes off, don’t hit ignore. Just say okay and let the app close.

And to avoid the temptation to get back on, turn off your notifications. Out of sight, out of mind.

7. Don’t compare yourself to other authors

I know you’ve heard this one from everyone else, but it’s so important so I have to say it, too. For one thing, it’s just not healthy to constantly compare yourself to others, especially when you only see what they’ve decided to share. Because remember what I just told you about not sharing everything on socials? Other people are doing that, too. You don’t know what their real lives are like, or what they’ve gone through to get where they are.

You’ll have a lot more peace if you don’t engage with the comparison game. And if you just can’t help it with someone? Admit that to yourself and mute them. It’s okay.

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Social media is not your job, as an author. I know we’ve been conditioned to think it’s a major part of our job for years, now, but unless you’re one of the exceptions we talked about above, social media is not paying your bills. Social media is not getting your book written. In fact, social media is making money off all the creative, clever, insightful things you say. The platforms are making money off you.

If you need a break, you can take one. It can be for however long you want it to be. You don’t even have to announce it. Honestly, the nature of social media means most folks won’t even notice you’re not there. Plenty of authors dip in and out of social media, depending where they are in their work.

If you ever feel like you need permission to step back from socials — here it is. You have my permission. (Even though I’m still not your boss.) I’ll bet a nickel that you actually have a lot of people’s permission to save your most creative, fun, and imaginative stuff for your friends and family, your own private journal, and — yeah — your book.

You don’t owe social media anything.

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I hope that was helpful!

I know there are a ton of different opinions and guides for how to use social media out there, and these are just my thoughts. And, as I mentioned at the top, my own stance is constantly evolving. I’ve formed these thoughts based on my own experiences and even discussions I’ve seen on social media. If you have a different viewpoint, that’s great! I’d love to hear about it.

Don’t forget about these ebook (and audiobook) sales! NIGHTRENDER and MY LADY JANE!

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Read my previous posts about social media:

• A quick note about social media

• How to completely control your writing career

• Dear algorithm

• Oh great, another new-year new-me newsletter

1. I’m speaking as a traditionally published author. Self-published authors will, of course, have different experiences and needs when it comes to using social media to promote books, but I do hope my tips are useful for all authors.

2. Lived experience anecdote! I have had a few viral-ish videos. I saw small sales bumps from those, but . . . nothing that was going to make a significant difference in my career. I’m so, so grateful for those sales and new readers! I truly appreciate them. But when I look back overall and think about all the energy I gave . . . I should have just been writing my book. Or napping.

3. Just in case you ever decide to use it. And to prevent anyone from impersonating you in the future by using a name you’re normally attached to. This is why I never deleted my account from the bird site, even when I stopped using it.